Christmas 2023

 I’m not sure if it’s the confidence that comes with surviving Covid, or if we are so far into middle age that youth and vigor are only experienced in our imaginations, but Jenn and I have come to the realization that we are adults! Full-grown, self-actualized adults. Eyes forward, shoulders back, ready for anything that comes our way. Who cares what anyone thinks of us? We decide what happens! Answerable to no one.

Well, still answerable to our kids….and our parents, sure. And our weirdly judgy neighbor; what’s up with him? But adults! Mostly, I guess.

Jenn was promoted this past June to a senior stage manager position, which sounds like she works at a community playhouse. To Disney everything is a show, even the division that oversees the trams, shuttles and parking lots. We are all very proud of her advancement and went to Orange Hill restaurant to commemorate the occasion. We got dressed up and ordered drinks that were completely unknown to us, but we played it off as if we had been drinking Suicide Slides for years.  Forgive our deception, but we were dressed to kill. The food was fantastic and the company even better.

Orange County lights

On our bucket list is to camp two nights on one of the Channel Islands, which will require a ferry and a haul of all the water, food and camping equipment. To prepare (i.e. to see if we are remotely capable) we packed into Joshua Tree’s backcountry a few miles and set up a tent. After one night we declared success, packed up and out. It was Spring after a lot of rain, and although you couldn’t call it lush or even green, it was far more verdant than I had ever seen Joshua Tree. If you’ve never smelled the high desert after a rain, consider it for your bucket list.

Success!

We had a number of memorable road trips to Central California (and one quite a bit further). Jenn and I took weekends touring Solvang and Morro Bay, which I would recommend to anyone who wants small-town California charm. In Solvang, we lunched at the Sausagegarten (yes, they serve a variety of pork links, and no, they do not cater to a particular clientele) and I drank beer from a 2L stein.  Morro Bay was memorable for our kayak trip around the estuary and a foray onto the sand dunes in which our guide pointed out a trash midden of seashells left by the Chumash at least a hundred years ago. It was a beautiful and exhausting day. Emily invested in a road-trip vehicle and promptly set off for parts unknown. When she returned, Jenn gently grilled her as only a mother can. Emily broke down and declared she wouldn’t tell us, but she would show us if we were that interested. Apparently, she hadn’t realized that was exactly the challenge Jenn was hoping for. So they took off on a mother-daughter road trip and went as far north as Sue-meg State Park (near Eureka) and when they returned, asked, “Do you know how long this state is?!” Then they answered, “No, no you don’t. Let me tell you…” And I heard all about it.

Mother Nature must have noticed our newfound maturity and felt it necessary to humble us. In August she sent 50% of our annual rainfall in two days and added 45 mph winds to boot. I know this sounds banal to the rest of the country (“Uh, wind and rain are normal weather events, son”), but in southern California wind and rain are the two Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Our local news goes on Stormwatch! and we all sit transfixed in front of the tv, watching cars driving through the rain while we murmur, “Oh, those poor people.” Then She kicked it up a notch, Earthquake!! And we were already at peak panic! We were so rattled it took us forty-eight hours to forget the whole thing ever happened. After all, internet memes, political turmoil and Taylor Swift’s on tour and tickets only cost $3500! There’s no room in our heads for what happened yesterday.

Wine tasting in Solvang

Hiking in the Redwood National Park

Sunset at Morro Rock

Along the Big Sur Coast

We also saw two shows whose target audiences are charitably described as educated and refined and less charitably described as dorks and nerds: Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me at the Greek Theater and the Tina Fey-Amy Poehler comedy show in Redlands. We had a great time at both but were very out of place, as we saw almost nothing but dorks and nerds at both places! [Insert your own joke at our expense here] If you envy us for attending those, you might like to know I met Kai Ryssdal in the offices of NPR’s Marketplace and even had Nancy Farghalli take pictures of the two of us. I found out later that Nancy can produce the heck out of a radio show but can’t operate a cell phone camera. Nuts!

Claire, in particular, soared to new heights of maturity by getting a job, securing a driver’s license, moving into an apartment she shares with three friends, and chewing up UCI courses and spitting them out! We are very proud.

Legal to drive!

Beside going on road trips, Emily is gainfully employed at Knott’s Berry Farm, which is no longer owned by the Knott family, has no berry plants, and is not a farm of any kind. Huhnh. But they do have a great chicken restaurant, where Emily helps out. She has designs on the next challenge. Stay tuned!

For our 25th (Jenn claims this using dates and facts, but I trump this with my feelings that say we’ve been married ten years, twelve tops) wedding anniversary we flew to Anchorage and cruised the Alaskan and Canadian shoreline back to Vancouver, enjoying fresh salmon dinners, kayak tours, river floats, forest bike rides, glacier encounters and a significant amount of alcohol along the way with a great group of friends. We even got dressed up on the actual night of our anniversary to take pictures of ourselves. As long as you don’t put them alongside our wedding pics, we look pretty good!

Hubbard Glacier

Later we invited this same group of friends over for a beer-themed party in October. It was great fun, drinking beer and playing German folk games (like Stump and Masskrugstemmen) but I never could come up with a catchy name for it. October Beer Party? Fall Beer Festival? I’ll work on it.

Prost!

Luckily no new name was needed for the feast on a Thursday in November, so we had the whole fam damily over for turkey and trimmings. It is a relief to spend time with loved ones, exploring the bonds of kinship and friendship keeping us in love with each other. That, and my goodness, the food!! I should have fasted for the next two days. But I didn’t.

It is now Christmas season, and I can think of no better time to wish all of you happiness, love and peace for now, next year and always,

The Leebs

Merry Christmas 2022

 

“Don’t let your face be the third point of contact (with your truck).” –Delivery worker wisdom

Christmas 2022

This year there was a real competition between milestone events and aesthetics when I was trying to decide on a theme for this letter. As I pondered, one of these would appear dominant and then the other would come from behind and take the lead. So I gave up choosing and am including a tally of both.

Emily turned twenty-one in March, followed shortly thereafter by Jenn turning an undisclosed (rhymes with nifty) amount. We got to watch our oldest ordering and consuming wine in a fancy Temecula vineyard with her two best friends and our parents. All weekend there was a constrained but persistent interest in the boozy entitlements of turning twenty-one. No one got drunk, as everyone’s parents were there, for heaven’s sake, but we had a great time. Jenn had booked a lovely house for the weekend with a great view of the valley north of Temecula and a pool/jacuzzi. Emily was so excited by the occasion she memorialized it with a tattoo of her friends’ birth month flowers. She intended the friends to get the same tattoo but only one of the two had the same intention. Body decoration: score one for aesthetics. Two big birthdays: score two for milestones.

In late March, we took a trip to Catalina with the daughters and the grandparents. I always get a stiff shot of nostalgia in the Fifties’ flavor of downtown Avalon: pizza at Tony’s, mixed drinks overlooking the bay, and Sinatra belting one out. It was as if social media never existed.  I have to stifle my inner old man, “Ahh, the world was a better place. Being an influencer was not a thing! I had never heard of even a single Kardashian! Har-umph, har-umph, grumble, grumble, grumble…” Don’t listen to him, I think; he’ll get tired and fall asleep soon. One last old man observation: Buffalo Milk tastes better than it sounds.  Catalina still looks like it has been lifted from a 1930’s travel poster: aesthetics, one.

Claire completed her first college year living in the dorm. There are few larger milestones than living free of parental constraints for the first time. We are very confident of Claire’s life skills, but Jenn still required a weekly text as “proof of life.” In the third quarter Claire and Emily decided to take a class together, North Korean history. Did you know North Koreans read Gone with the Wind in high school?! Ask Claire or Emily why—it escapes me. More tattoos followed, matching ones on each daughter. Aesthetics: two. Milestones: one.

Emily graduated from UCI in the Spring with a thousand of her very close friends. The speeches were actually enjoyable! Can you believe it? Some wit, some wisdom and a lot of enthusiasm, even some self-deprecating humor. She saw her opportunity and leveraged the goodwill to remind Jenn of a long ago promise to get a cat, and viola! Angus the cat now graces our abode. Houseplants and clothespins quake with fear. There is talk of building a Catio on our sunporch, which I find preferable to a Catropolis. Milestone: one.

Jenn, butting in here, to give a reprieve from John’s witty musings on our year to talk about the trip Mom and I took to Europe in June.  2020 marked the 400^th anniversary of the Mayflower landing in Plymouth with a few of our ancestors on board.  A tour had been planned to coincide with the anniversary to retrace the steps of the Pilgrims in England and Holland.  It turns out that 2020 was not a great year to travel.  So, on the 402^nd anniversary we visited many small towns and villages in the English and Dutch countryside to see churches, pubs, museums, and civic buildings that all claimed a connection to the Pilgrim story.  The guides we met were so thrilled to be able to share their stories with descendants of the Pilgrims.  It was really special to be able to stand in the places our family had lived.  Back to you John…

Bailey has had a very good year…if you are considering her ongoing crusade against screens of all kinds. Truthfully, it was no 2013 when all fifteen screens in the backyard were destroyed after we left her alone (and trapped!) while maybe were inside having fun, but still a very destructive year. In Bailey’s eyes, the screens had it coming. “I can see where I want to go, but this gauze, this nothingness stretched tight is stopping me? It’s an insult, is what it is. They must go.” And so, on a warm afternoon, fueled by the anxiety that only July fireworks can bring, she took on the Mother-of-all-Screens: the three by seven foot retractable screen in the front door: huge by screen standards, majestic and somewhat magical, moving on its own. Now this screen had already suffered unsuspecting cleaning ladies and at least one grandparent running into it, but it had held firm and only had slight stretch marks near the bottom. But when a hundred pounds of speeding chocolate lab missile came its way, it collapsed like a human pyramid in a fail video. And so, a nice neighbor caught her and brought her back from the school yard next door, and I saw the destruction for the first time. I had not heard the impact and not anticipated that she would try to run away while I was at home. Of course, this screen had a lot of time and money invested in it a year ago and was now a twisted heap on our front porch.  Add one item to the project list. A few days later, on the actual Fourth of July, she decided she was not content with a single victory over the screens and was still just as frantic about the fireworks, so she took out one more in the door to the backyard. It was too high off the ground for her to jump through but she could reach it by standing on her back legs. Does she really need a logical reason to destroy a screen? No, she does not. She prefers them, but shredded screens are an eyesore to us, aesthetics: negative one.

Bricks down...

Our living room has a new and improved (at least in our opinion) look. Here are the before and after pictures.  Aesthetics: two, one for the fireplace and one for the window.   

Ta-da!

In August we took our daughters to Costa Rica for a week of non-stop fun. I have decided that I really cannot improve on the description of it in my notes with verbs and well-formed sentences; so here is a smattering of images. Catamaran afternoon excursion including leaping manta rays, Claire drinking rum drinks, snorkeling, a cave with two ocean outlets and surging waves,  and sunset from the boat. Views of the mainland in the soft pink light of sunset. Day 2: jumping 20 feet into a clear pool fed by a small waterfall, a jungle tour seeing ten sloths, blue jeans frogs, red eye frogs, and for lunch traditional Costa Rican food, plantains and savory chicken.  Day 3, Guachilepin adventure resort: ziplining in a canyon over a rushing river, horseback riding, whitewater tubing. Day 4, Cerro Cortes: puma encounter, water slide that you do just once, biothermales warm tubs. Hike with monkeys in the trees, light so golden and greens so intense. Day 5: La Fortuna waterfall, lunch in a sit-down restaurant with cloth napkins. Milestones: four, one for each of us.

Fresh off of graduation and the receipt of a couple of paychecks, Emily decided it was time for a newer car, the first of her own choice and purchasing power. She bought a Toyota Rav-4. I argue that this is a milestone, but the neighbors an improvement in the beauty in the neighborhood by the lack of a fourteen year-old car. “Only two more in your driveway to go!” said one. I complimented him on his counting skills. One point each.

September 21^st should be recognized for being mentioned in the greatest dance song of all time, Earth, Wind and Fire’s “Dancing in September”, but instead this year it was the day on which the FDA had to issue a warning not to cook chicken in Nyquil.  Yep…that pretty much sums up where we are in 2022.

And that was our year. All our love to you and yours,

 

The Leebs

 

Christmas 2021

As I sit down to write, I am tempted to say that 2021 was a big step in returning to normalcy after 2020. After all, kids are in school. We both have jobs. It is possible to plan a weekend trip and take it. But part of me feels like normal isn’t happening ever again. Events seem to be spinning out of control, and there are forces accelerating the spin. At least we can take refuge in the joy and comfort of our family. That seems normal anyway.

There are few places in Southern California that enable you to imagine what the land and sea looked like before it got developed, but Cabrillo National Monument in San Diego is one of them. Jenn and I took a day trip there in February and basically just enjoyed the views. From the peak near the statue of Juan Cabrillo you can see the entire San Diego bay and downtown area. It doesn’t take much to imagine the Spaniard putting ashore in search of fresh water and some food. The ocean side is a half-mile of sandstone ledges and surging waves to investigate: urchins, crabs, anemone and octopii–right out of Cannery Row. Even the vast military cemetery we drove through reminded us of those who have gone before. 

In May Jenn mentioned the leak in the den bathroom sink had recently increased in volume and maybe I would like to take a look? I wasn’t thrilled, but at least it wasn’t a toilet. To fix a leaky faucet, you are supposed to unscrew the handle, pull out the cartridge and replace the rubber washer on the bottom.  It can be a ten minute job, maybe twenty minutes if things get tricky.  About eight hours in, I was tempted to sell the house and move to a third-world country with no indoor plumbing. Jenn said that seemed like an extreme solution to a fixable problem. Fixable?! I was facing 1970’s plumbing with rusted on nuts, layers of hard water deposits and stripped threads everywhere! I was using pipe wrenches, hacksaws, hammers and basin wrenches on what should have been a screwdriver only job! Jenn found me lying on the bathroom tile, whimpering among the scattered remains of faucet handles, sink traps and broken hacksaw blades, and delivered the final humiliation, “Should we hire somebody to do this?” (Admittedly, she was only trying to be helpful.) Eventually I bought an entirely new Moen fixture, new inlet lines, new angle stops and then installed them over the next day and a half. This was how I spent my two days off that week, hurting myself and cursing. But now, every time I turn off the water in that sink I think, “Yeah, I did that.”

One of the consequences of Covid was the near total absence of school activities for Claire’s senior year at Pacifica HS. Her sport, cross country, is technically a Fall sport but the season occurred in February and March. To compound the problems, she had a hairline fracture in her ankle and could not compete. We did have an outdoor banquet, which was really lovely. Jenn and some of the other PHS parents were determined our children would not be denied Prom for the second year running. The school would have nothing to do with it, which made Jenn strangely happy. Claire got all dressed up and looked beautiful and danced with her friends all night. After several conflicting decisions were made by the school regarding graduation, we were heartened to attend an in-person event in a football stadium like all generations before. She even got to sit and wave from Dave Kim’s truck in an informal car parade through West Grove that Jenn organized.

Although I was gainfully employed the entire year, it was still a good one for home repair. My father is a great help in these projects, both as a source of good advice and as motivation. When I know he’s coming over, I must have accomplished something since last time. Repaired and repainted facia boards, installed organizing shelves in the garden shed, put new lighting fixtures upstairs, installed a new dishwasher and finally repaired the backyard gate. Again. For the fourth time. Our dog, Bailey, has decided that a really fun practical joke is to wait until we leave, then destroy the bottom corner of the gate and run away. Then she finds a new family, complains about us to get them to like her, and we get a phone call asking us to come get our dog. Hilarious!

For Christmas of 2019 we gifted a day trip to both sets of grandparents, Sherman Gardens in Laguna Beach, with the intention of the visit occurring during the Spring bloom of 2020. The flowers still bloomed that year, but none of us was there to witness it. Jenn called, “Do over!” and so we went at the end of May, 2021.  So many quotes come to mind: “Better late than never,” and “I went to the woods because I wished to give charitably,” among others. The garden designers were clearly told to push the envelope; there was a functioning piano covered in moss (we heard a Brahms piece), a hot house with a thousand orchids and predatory plants, and a small house in which all the walls and half the surfaces were plants. We even had lunch in a restaurant, which we hadn’t done in a year–a very fun day.

Only the girls get to enjoy summer now that neither Jenn nor I are teachers. Claire visited her friend dear Mikayla in Tennessee before making a hard left turn to Wisconsin for two weeks. Emily joined her there with her two good friends, Rachel and Regina. 

And so, when Fall came, our time as a nuclear family of four ended very abruptly. Over a span of eight hours on a Saturday, Jenn and I gave up both our daughters to a big, beautiful but uncaring world.  We put Emily on a plane to Washington DC for a “Study not quite Abroad” program (big step for Emily–three months on her own in a new city) and moved Claire into the dorms at UC Irvine (an equally big step). Jenn and I sat, shell-shocked, that first evening. We tried to fill the quiet with lively conversation, but each of us admitted later that we were very worried. Luckily, we have rediscovered our love of several outdoor activities…and one indoor. Feel free to ask us about any of the outdoor activities, but we are still too embarrassed about playing ping-pong upstairs to discuss it with anyone. We assuaged some of our grief with a trip to Sequoia National Park (before it closed due to fires!) to camp for a few days.

We enjoyed a Raider/Ram game in August at SoFi stadium, which is huge and glitzy and was peopled with the most bizarre fans. I am glad we went; I enjoyed it, but I feel no need to be so overwhelmed anytime soon. Later that month we went to the Hollywood Bowl to a John Williams Tribute which was also a feast for the senses but not nearly so suffocating with spectacle. We had a picnic at the top of the Bowl and watched hawks as the sun set over the canyon, and we listened to a great symphony play dramatic music, pretty good stuff.

 2020 took many things away but for Jenn and 3 of her best high school friends, their reunion was not going to be one of them.  It may have been delayed and not a formal event but it was all the better for it.  Rachel has a lovely new home just outside of Reno where they could have spent the entire weekend talking and eating but the picturesque Donner (yes that famous party) State Park beckoned and they spent a beautiful Fall day walking and talking.  There was so much talking!  A lifetime of memories were remembered and added to.

Emily being in Washington DC gave Jenn the perfect excuse to finally travel there for the first time.  She and Holly spent a week checking off items from her bucket list.  They even squeezed in time with Em.  Holly was a trooper for walking miles upon miles every day as they checked out the monuments, museums, zoo, and all the famous sites.  

The picture on our card this year was taken at Cousin Mitch’s wedding in which he married a lovely young woman, Ashley, and they are in the process of adopting two toddlers. They found an exquisite setting in Edna Valley and planned a very enjoyable day.

Anyone who thinks Halloween is for kids will have another thing coming if they visit our neighborhood. Over the top decorations, golf cart races and sporadic fireworks dominate our streets. And the husbands are even worse! I participate as only a nerdy math guy can; I built a catapult to launch bite-size snickers towards the visitors. It worked well until it got dark, which, as was pointed out, is most of Halloween. Then it was less catching the candy and more waiting until it landed near them (or in JUST ONE INSTANCE, hit them on the head) to pick it up. Fourteen arc lights are my preferred solution for next year, and I doubt any of the neighbors will even notice.

And so another year passes into the memory books. This one promises to be remembered for its contrast to 2020 in its partial return to regular life, and not as a precursor to even more turbulent times. Right? You and I must resolve to make it so. Happy Christmas, everyone..

Christmas 2020

Christmas 2020

Normally in my Christmas letters I try to present the funny and ridiculous side of what are generally normal, maybe even humdrum, events during our year to entertain myself, family and friends.

No one needs ridiculous now. Funny, yes please. So here we go.

Claire managed to squeeze in a somewhat normal life event in February, the 2020 Winter Formal. Dancing, laughing, flirting and speculating about potential couplings occurred, as they have since humans have been gathering around a fire. Ahh, remember normal human behavior before we all became hermit crabs, confined in our shells and scurrying outside of them in fear?

It’s easy to complain about the losses (restaurant dining, attendance at sporting events, Claire’s education, planned vacations, my livelihood, balanced city budgets, Emily’s social and university life, the joy one feels on seeing a spouse after time away) but there are no three people I would rather be locked in with. The additional nuclear family time feels like a gift, because we know our girls will soon get sick of us and leave. Like everyone, we have had far more family dinners, intense political conversations and relaxing downtime than we would have had without Covid-19. And yet, at some point, the familiarity can get tiresome, and we can be forgiven for thinking, “No, I don’t want to play another G@&^*$%ed board game or watch another G@&^*$%ed movie! How about I drink a cold beer sitting on a chair that doesn’t already smell like me! How about that?!” We can be forgiven these things, right? Right? Somebody back me up here.

So half of March, all of April, May and June passed with virtually nothing occurring. Well, not nothing. Long deferred home repair projects assumed totally unjustified significance. We refinished the only expensive piece of furniture we own, our oak dining table. Thank you for the tutorial, Youtube. We painted the aluminum cover on the sun porch, and then, out of necessity, power-washed the paint overspray off the concrete. Later we installed a sliding screen door, repainted Emily’s room, snaked the kitchen sink from the vent pipe on the roof, put up a ceiling fan in our bedroom and such. I have drawn up plans for a ground-breaking Snoopy themed whirligig (a wind powered mechanical device) that has a narrative arc. I also have prepped an elaborate painting with a sly literary reference on my gate. Jenn probably saved me from madness by suggesting I apply for jobs instead of waiting for my old one to return. Pointless vanity projects are on hold now that I have secured very modestly compensated employment stocking vending machines. Good for weight loss!

In June we decided to follow through on our annual trip to Wisconsin (where we isolate ourselves without even trying) and stayed through the first week of July. Claire stayed on after we left, making a lot of friends among cousin Joe’s classmates and got a lot of practice driving, even ninety straight minutes from Wascott to Superior on county highway 35 through Dairyland! It doesn’t get more Wisconsin than that. Emily stayed in California, as she had recently started an internship at a law office specializing in renters’ rights. So imagine our surprise when Jenn got a call on July 3^rd from her asking if Jenn had heard anything about Bailey, our dog. Nooooo, Jenn said, we left her home with you, and 1500 miles is kind of far for a dog with Bailey’s poor sense of direction (she once got turned around at dog beach, freaked out and sprinted the opposite direction, requiring me to run after her). Emily meant to ask if we had received a call about Bailey’s whereabouts, which Jenn hadn’t. It turned out that Bailey assumed that since she was alone at 4 pm and there were random explosions occurring, it was time for her to audition for another family. She broke out of the backyard, wandered three streets over, heard a family playing in their backyard pool, and joined them for the day. I met the owner about two months later, and he said Bailey had delighted his daughters the whole afternoon, swimming and frolicking. They cried when he led her back to our neighbors who recognized the escape artist and put her back. Emily was very relieved. It was while I was repairing the gate that I got the idea for the elaborate painting.

Jenn has cemented her place in a group of five ladies who enjoy traveling the southern half of California in search of the perfect wine. They call themselves the Fab Five, and no, none of them have ever heard of, or care about, Chris Webber or Jalen Rose, so don’t bother. Fact-finding trips to Temecula, Paso Robles and even Palm Desert have all taken place. She assures me this is a scientific pursuit, but the pictures have no lab coats in them, and her mood is always one of giddy exhaustion when she returns. “From all the lab work,” she says. My dad worked in a lab for years, and he never came home in a t-shirt showing Christmas Cactus and the phrase “What the Succulent?!” And somebody got the wrong first letter for succulent.

Despite this entire year turning into what the French call, a steaming pile of ‘merde’, we decided to venture forth with our annual Campout in Joshua Tree Sometime Near Veterans’ Day. Other families were understandably reluctant to reserve the sites in May, and we ended up with just our good friend Dave, his son Nick and a friend. We should have realized the Old Testament God is currently calling the shots upstairs and not dragged Claire’s friend Leanne along. Leanne said the winds were so strong, they picked up her side of the tent, her inflatable mattress and her several times during the night! Gusts up to fifty mph (it blew my Coleman two-burner stove off the table) and some rain made us reconsider by noon of our first full day. Flapping tents, sailing plastic plates, and dust-filled everything were not our initial desires when we were prepping this trip. Our single highlight was a stop in Morongo at a cactus store selling baby barrel cactus for 79 cents. We got eight.

Shortly after that trip, Jenn got a difficult call about her job that was bad, but not as bad as it could be. She had been called back to work in June to help with Downtown Disney reopening and to clear out old merchandise in her store inside Disneyland. But then I think the Disney President’s dog pooped in Gavin Newsom’s yard, and they have not gotten along since. Newsom set the most onerous requirements possible for theme park re-openings, and Orange County is nowhere close. Jenn is furloughed, which means they plan to put her back to work when the park reopens, but she is stuck at home for now. Ironically, I now stock vending machines for the skeletal staff not furloughed at Disneyland, and daily see workers not adequately appreciating their position, “Jenn could do your job so much better.”

We have never needed more the joy and succor holidays bring, and yet full enjoyment is, of course, denied us. Around Day of the Dead for a few years, I have been cooking family recipes and setting up an altar of passed relatives. I have never missed them more. Most years the memories are happy and wistful, but there is more longing for their presence now. Our family is truly grateful to have been spared the worst ravages of the pandemic, and those whose families have suffered greatly are always near the surface of our thoughts. And yet we have all lost.

I just can’t think of the right tag line for this year, although several come to mind: “2020—it’s not your fault”, “2020—you’re still on mute”, “2020—Grandchildren will groan at its mention”, “2020—The Temperance League would understand”, and “2020—making all other years not suck”.

Everyone knows this will get better, and it is with this reassurance that we greet you and wish the best for you and your family.

Merry Christmas from the Leebs.

Christmas 2019

 It mostly didn’t feel different from other years while it was happening, but looking back on it Two thousand nineteen was a monumental year for our family: Important beginnings, significant endings, bittersweet remembrances…and a few non-sequiturs as well.

After many years of good intentions that never came to fruition, we set aside a Saturday in February to walk the poppy fields in Antelope Valley. This was a year of a Super Bloom, which means there were thousands of people trampling the same flowers we were all there to see. It was an immersive sensory experience, bright oranges waves among green hillsides under royal blue skies, breezes whispering through the waving stalks and even a subtle and sweet aroma that poppies in smaller amounts are not known for. We tried outwalking the hordes of picture takers, baby strollers and sullen teens and that got us a chance to stand still and listen and soak in the spectacle of the hillsides.

Over Spring Break, Steve Arnett and his family came out to enjoy the delights of California, but he insisted on helping clear the last remnants of former plants in our backyard. Thank you, Steve, and everyone should know your example was instructive. We discovered that hard work and planning improves the look of a backyard far better than carelessness and inattention. Lesson learned.  So after years of mostly just sifting and removing gravel, we were finally ready to give up and lay sod over the stony survivors. We ordered the sod with delight, looking forward to waving grasslands full of game animals, or at least having a surface to walk on that isn’t painful. On the Saturday we were laying it, our gardener arrived halfway through to mow the front. Although we were both covered in mud, sweat, gravel and grass bits, Jenn got his attention to get an estimate of how much more it would cost to maintain our new patch of grass.  He put his hand to his chin to think, but his first words were about how much we had done that morning, “That’s a lot of work for…,” he said and Jenn nodded, knowing he is a man who understands physical labor, ”… your husband.” Her expression changed to one I seldom see and never really enjoy, and I hustled him back to the front yard to discuss matters further.

In June our daughters flew off to Wisconsin for a few weeks, which allowed Jenn and me to indulge in more adult pursuits—namely plumbing. It was The Summer of Plumbers! You know that one job that ticks you off because it defies your best attempts? For me it was the leak in the shower of the master bath. Every time I heard the drip-drip-drip I swore either that leak or I would be departing this world soon. I had been reassured the valve was older but well-made and only needed a new valve stem. So I replaced it, but the drip continued. I took it apart again to put Teflon tape on the threads. No dice. Then I replaced the valve seats, requiring the purchase of a special tool. Nope. So I finally decided I would replace the whole valve with a Moen which I knew I could fix. Other projects came up but finally it threw a last insurmountable challenge my way: the handle fell off and could not be reattached because the threads were stripped. I seethed with rage at the utter insolence of this water fixture, refusing to work and refusing to be repaired. I bought the new valve, got out my pipe cutter, propane torch, flux, pipe and crescent wrenches and rubbed my hands with fury and glee at the upcoming battle. The next thing I remember is hearing Jenn say, “I heard a lot of swearing so the guy is coming tomorrow between 8 and 9. Can you be home?” I am not too proud to say she saved my life that morning.

I partially restored my sense of self-worth by installing sprinklers in the new backyard. Jenn and I were out working in the dark one night, trying to finish before the sod came the next morning. Another life lesson: laying sprinkler pipe by headlamps is better avoided if possible. And to round out the plumbing festivities, our good friend Jason Jensen installed new pipes in our shower in the guest bath and laid new tile. It looks good, but I never heard him swear, so I wonder if he was really doing it right.

On our 21^st anniversary, July 18^th, we went to a concert by a Prince tribute band with eight of our friends—a lot of dancing, a little drinking and a ton of fun. Prince must have been the most seductive man alive because even just an impersonator was able to get the whole middle aged crowd revved up, eyes shining, head thrown back and one hand in the hair (and that’s just the men!).

Once the end of August came, Claire put on her resigned face and trudged off to Pacifica High School. I asked Emily about school starting. “No, we don’t start for another six weeks at UCI.” Six weeks! UCI! Can one be proud and appalled at the same time? Jenn assured me that once classes start, the learning goes very fast. Of course she also told me that Emily’s dorm is reserved exclusively for girls who have renounced fun in all its forms. Yet when we moved her in I noticed the presence of several young men who knew nothing about such a pledge. The first quarter is almost done, and she has done very well.

From late September to early October, we were bouncing around the country for two weddings and a funeral. Jenn went to Montana for the day-after festivities at Elizabeth Peck nee Geise’s wedding and a trip around Glacier National Park with her parents. It was monumental enough to warrant a scrapbook. All four of us went to Utah for Paul and Stephanie’s wedding which was beautiful and delightful. My uncle Rod McKenzie passed away too soon, and I went back to Duluth to attend the service. He was a good man who still had a lot to give.

About that same time Claire’s Cross Country team qualified for CIF Prelims and finals after that. Unfortunately she had plantar fasciitis and could only be a cheer leader. But the team performed excellently and is expecting even more success next year. Even while laid up, Claire performed as captain and even received the Most Valuable Junior award.

We hosted two German Exchange students in October instead of one because a host family had a change in circumstance. They went to Disneyland, Hollywood, football games and the beach. Klara and Benjamin were polite and a joy as only other people’s children for two weeks can be.

We celebrated the tenth anniversary of our Veteran’s Weekend Joshua Tree camping trips with specialty t-shirts, fireball and campfires. As Emily was busy at UCI, we invited along one of Claire’s best friends, Sandra Vu, who clearly felt compelled to help with everything, to laugh at all our jokes and to be an absolute delight. Unlike previous years, the weather was excellent and we enjoyed the time out of cell phone range.

The highlight of November (besides Thanksgiving, of course) was Jenn’s 10 year anniversary at Disney. They kicked the paying customers out of California Adventure into Disneyland at 5 pm and brought in all the honored employees and their plus ones. For five hours we enjoyed open bars, open food stands and most shockingly, open queues on every ride. We wandered and ate and listened to live music until midnight. I made Jenn promise that she would not seek to cut the night short (as one of us has a habit of doing), and she was an excellent date.

We are looking forward to Christmas and particularly a boat ride around Newport Bay to see the lights on the fancy houses afterwards.

All the best to you and yours,

 

The Leebs

Christmas 2018

Hello all!

It has been so crazy busy (home projects, grading papers, etc.) this year that I won’t be able to write my usual Christmas letter. Sorry.

Please be assured that we are happy and healthy, the girls are doing great, and that though our finances could be better we carry on. We wish happiness and prosperity for you and yours.

 Happy Christmas!

 

Love,

The Leebs

 

P.S. I have been informed that I am to write a full and proper letter and that the contents of my Christmas stocking are on the line; phrases like “lame” and “half-arsed” were used. Not by me!

P.S.S. Okay,… “arsed” was not used, but you get the idea. I don’t think even the Brits use “arse.”

So here goes:

We definitely have a fin de siècle vibe this year. Maybe “upcoming transition” or “impending calamity;” I can’t tell.  Jenn and I are both delighted at the prospect of Emily attending college and terrified by the thought of Emily going away. We seem to have lost all logical consistency. We will know soon if she’ll be staying at home to go to CSU Long Beach or UC Irvine, or if my eldest daughter will be lost to the wilds of UC Davis or CSU Sacramento.  I know it’s not like we are abandoning her on the side of the highway, but the feeling is remarkably similar. We are trying to enjoy every day with her.

One of our most memorable adventures of the past year was going to Abalone Cove with the Ryders. The sandstone cliffs were straight out of Two Years Before the Mast, we saw a pod of dolphins up close, and all the denizens of the tide pools. We finished off their California day with a trip to In-n-Out Burger. Very fun.

Both the girls attended the Winter Formal in January, Claire’s first chance at a high school fancy dance. They came home happy and tired. That’s all I know and probably all I want to know.

Claire brings me much joy by playing on a soccer team all year long. The only peculiarity of hers that gives me pause is her choice of position. If other players stumble or have a lapse of judgment, it’s lost in the hurly-burly, but goalie mistakes are highly visible and very memorable. She says she does not enjoy all the running that the field players must do, but then why does she compete on the cross-country team? Maybe that logical consistency thing is genetic.

We were invited to host a German exchange student for three weeks in March. Svenja is polite and charming and got some quintessential California experiences: Disneyland, Joshua Tree, Seal Beach and a gun show. She was unfailingly grateful and even cooked Spätzle for us. We were delighted to host her and hope to see her again either here or in Stuttgart.

During Spring Break, the family (minus Em) decided to car-camp a couple of days just outside of the Grand Canyon. Claire and Jenn hiked thirteen miles along the southern rim, but I feigned an injury. I mean I was recovering from a soccer mishap. No definitive ruling has been issued. Even if you are only able to ride the shuttle bus for a few hours, the Grand Canyon is worth it. I was expecting not to enjoy it because of the crowds and the sameness of the experience for everyone, but I was wrong. In an alternate version of this letter I went on at length. Ask me if you dare.

Emily was asked to Prom by a track teammate who ended up being more than just a prom date. Jake is stand-out polite and mature, and I know I am supposed to be suspicious of him, but I just can’t find it in me to doubt him. We have even become good friends with his parents, who are ridiculously generous and kind.

Only one of us got to Wisconsin this summer, but Claire was accompanied by her best friend Emily Kim. She earned the moniker, “Amelia Earhart Kim” for her inability to stay earthbound while tubing around the lake. They both said they enjoyed it very much, and we are hoping to get the whole Kim family to our cabin someday.

We all went to Hawaii during the summer with Jenn’s family. The highlight was snorkeling with the sea turtles. Jenn and I hiked up Diamondhead as all tourists must. I’m not sure why they all decided to go the same day we did, however.

In August both daughters and Jenn escaped to Big Bear for the cross country retreat. The girls were there to run and bond with their teammates, while Jenn was support staff, prepping and cooking. These are the days the girls will remember years after high school.

We had another fantastic year camping in Joshua Tree over Veterans’ Day weekend. For the last three years we had to interrupt our trip for cross country finals. We avoided that this year, only to have Claire’s soccer team make the playoffs and get a game scheduled at 8 am in Norco. Camping interrupted, again. Still a good problem to have. The rest of the weekend was filled with friends, laughter and Fireball.

My wife and I can put another notch on the grown-up belt as we hosted a Thanksgiving dinner for the first time. Lots of potatoes, deep fried turkey and green bean casserole for everyone. My second cousin, Jack Bergum, was able to make it too.

After that, the days started flying by in a blur.

Now I am done.

Merry Christmas,

 

The Leebs